I Ruined My Son’s Wedding And Don’t Have An Inch Of Regret! Am I Wrong for Feeling This?

I was at the wedding of my son Mike because I was determined to talk to him about how he was being bad to his son Tommy and his ex-wife Jane.

Mike had left them after Tommy was born, so Jane had to take care of their Down syndrome child by herself.

When I found out that Mike was getting married, I decided to do something.

As I walked into the church with Tommy in my arms, I stopped the service to tell everyone the truth about what Mike had done in the past.

I had a range of feelings as I talked to Mike and his confused fiancée about how he had left Tommy, cheated on her, and not been paying for Tommy’s needs.

I meant to teach Mike a lesson and stress how important it is to be a good father, but what happened was very different.

Mike’s bride got angry and threw her bouquet at him. She and her shocked family then left the wedding quickly.

My cousin Liam told me about what happened the next day. He said that Mike’s fiancée was very upset, and Mike was feeling a range of emotions in front of the guests who were waiting.

Now I’m not sure if my choice to ruin the wedding was the right one.

My intention was to get Mike to take responsibility for what he did by either making a promise to his family again or giving Tommy money.

It may seem like I went too far, but I think it was important to bring attention to how bad Mike’s neglect was.

I hope this interruption wakes him up so he can change his ways and be there for Tommy as a dad.

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This Post Has 46 Comments

  1. Sorry but he is a scum for abandoning his child. His bride to be did the right thing by running away from a potential future with a man like that !
    It took courage to go to the wedding with the baby… But I applaud this !!!! The shame a mother would feel that her son turned out like this !
    The man is a liar and cheat and got it what he deserved. Being embarrassed and facing himself. Good !!!

  2. He has to atone for his wrong doing. Lies catch up to you. He should have been honest with everyone from the start. As a good grandma and christian you called him out on his sins. His fault not yours. He needs to be a man and christian and own up.

  3. I commend your bravery. So many families turn a blind eye to the neglected families and even make excuses especially mothers of these sons but you were able to see the truth and defend it and your grand baby. God bless you and that baby and his mother. There should be more people on this planet like you!!!!! I hope your son changes his ways.

  4. I think what she did needed to be done from a mother’s view. What happens if he has another kid with new wife and there a birth defect of some sort..is he leaving her as well. That’s not how love works. The you g man has no clue what love is…

  5. Totally wrong. Never repay evil with evil but with a blessing. Hate cannot overcome hate only love can do that


  7. I think what you did was awesome! If you can’t take care of one family you have created them why start another. If you have a child whether it being with needs or not. You should step up and take care of what you created. Thank you for the store and good luck with your relationship with your family.

  8. I’m glad Mike’s mom did that, I just hope is wasn’t for not.There are a lot of people out there that need a wake up call.Besides there are agencies that could help financially,he was only thinking of himself.I’ve known some children that have down syndrome and are the sweetest of anyone.The blessings that man walked out on is a shame.

  9. You son needs to own up and take responsibility for his past which includes his son being that he has Down syndrome shouldn’t be the reason it’s more important that he’s taking responsibility for a baby that has born and needs help financially from his. If he can’t provide support for his child then how is going to be husband father for his new bride and family. No you needed to open the eyes of his new robe bride and family letting them know what your son is really like. As the saying goes sometimes the TRUTH HURTS!!

  10. She had a right to know about his charatcer but he will answer for what he has done in the end not sure if it was your place to do it or not but that is between you and your god as long as you are good with it applaud you for your strength 👍


  12. I think the mother could have chosen another time BEFORE the ceremony to express her feelings about the situation. I agree that he was wrong for his actions but she was terribly wrong for what she did and the timing was all wrong. She obviously is an attention seeker and as a result she probably has lost her son forever. What she did is unforgivable. She is an adult and could have chosen a time BEFORE the wedding day to confront her son. SHAME ON HER. SHE WILL REGRET HER ACTIONS FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE!

  13. I would have went to him I’m person and discuss the situation not make 2 wrongs and think it be right I guess u did out of hurt and whatever but to ruin his wedding the way you did was not right my opinion

  14. You did exactly what you felt was right. And I agree with your decision 1000%. Your son was a rotten father and lousy husband. If he treated his first family this way who’s to say he wouldn’t do the same thing to his next wife and kids.

  15. Mom I think what you did was right. What if the same thing happened to the new wife. How is that fair to her. Actually how is it fair to her not knowing that he has a son that he walked out on just because that beautiful little boy was born with down syndrome. It’s not the babies fault, but your son sure did blame him for it. Don’t blame yourself for doing the right thing. And I believe deep down that the woman he was going to marry is hurt because of everything, but at the same time you probably save her from more than that. You should be proud of yourself for sticking up for your grandson. It shows that his grandma loves him so very much.
    Now as for your son. If he decides he doesn’t want to see or talk to you again then that’s on him. That would be pretty sad that he would hold that against you. He needs to understand what he did is so much more worse than what you did. Walking out on a baby because of a disorder, how sad is that. God Bless you mom for what you did. God you remember this, and he will also remember what your son did. You are an angel

  16. It was right and wrong. But, definitely the wrong place and time to settle the matter ..Mike moved on and you should have waited for a better time to confront him. Yes, he neglected his family and you have the right as his mother to get him to assume his responsibilities, but a better time would have been more effective. He might learn from his mistake, but I’m sure that the two of you are now even farther apart. I understand as a mother how you feel and that the situation past and present made you decide how to handled things. Only you can either blame yourself a or stand your ground that you did the correct thing. There are so many angles to this situation and definitely many many opinions. All have a legitimate reason. I learned a long time ago that once your children are grown and make decisions on their own; I can only give my advice. After that had better stand behind their actions. It is sad. I know you feel bad about things. I pray you find peace and that Mike understands how parents feel and react to their childrens actions.

  17. you make a baby you need to take responsibility for that child you cannot just walk away whether it’s normal down syndrome whatever it may be that your child you need to take responsibility. Sorry Mike you’re wrong.

  18. You made a brave decision for your son ! He should be able to accept the consequences of his actions ! He needs to learn that his actions can lead to consequences by his own hands

  19. To be honest with you I agree with you of what you did take courage and strength to do that because only a mother would with great love and care would try to show their son that he needs to be a man and live up to his responsibilities and not shunning away his own family. Cuz I believe if you did not even go up there he would have not even told his new wife . And just acting like y’all are crazy made no sense for him to do what he did

  20. Yes I think that you went about this the wrong way. Although I do understand your feelings you could of had spoken to him or even then away from their guest.

  21. Thank you for sharing this” heart felt” story. Children born with medical challenges are not to be blamed!
    The parents are responsible for their own actions. For example: foods they consume and the alcohol use as well as narcodics(illegal) and legal ones.The birth parents share the total responsibility.

  22. That was the inappropriate way to handle your son’s business or lack thereof..
    I truly understand as a parent and grandparent, the irresponsibility of your son’s handling of his own son and ex wife is inexcusable, ” to say the least “!! However, what you did and why you did it was extremely selfish on your part. You could have chose another way of doing this!!

  23. You did everything wrong. Nobody else had to know what Mike did except his wife to be. The outcome might have been the same but the whole world did not have to know and you certainly should not have embarrassed your new gran#baby.You should have prayed to God and he would have told you what and how to handle things.

  24. Excellent choice. You did two people the honor, your grandson and the bride, which now knows what type of louse she could of married

  25. Congratulations, Mom. When two people get married the officiant also ask if anyone has a reason those two should not be married? You’re reason was the best yet. Children aren’t pawns in the game of life. It’s a gift, a privilege and a job to be a parent. Too many deadbeat dads and moms in this world. Good job of proving what an irresponsible man your son his. I pray this opened his eyes and he does the next right thing for Tommy. Praying for everyone. 💜

  26. His actions or no actions brought your actions on him. Maybe you impressed the responsibility not only on son, but many others.

  27. He needs to cowboy up I my self raised a daughter who doesn’t know her dad. I was 15 when I had her had to go to work at 16 he was in army and left me to take care of her which I did . Love my child she’s turning 50 this year but still he blames me for everything I was a child sometimes I’m glad he’s not in her life but I really wish he would give her a chance to know him. But she knows her true father in heaven who loves us always.Amen

  28. So did it wake him up or did it send a lifelong wedge between Father & Son?
    I guess I would have put more thought into doing this possibly speaking with Your Son before this all came about. I can’t imagine how You & Your Son’s life would carry on from here.

  29. Wow that was brave on your part but I am not sure that was the right time to confront your son. I am sure it just more bitterness in his heart towards you and his young son that has no say in any of this. I praise his mother for stepping up to the plate and taking care of her son that has down syndrome instead of putting him in a home with other children with this aliment. I will keep all of you in my prayers and hope that it all works out for the best. I will pray that God will soften your son’s heart and he will want to be a father to his son and he will just see you were doing the right thing at his wedding. May God bless all of you.

  30. I think you did the right thing. It’s not the baby’s fault, he should have taken care of his child and stayed by his wife’s side. Good for you

  31. His fiance needed to know what kind of man he was/is!!!! I don’t know if I could have been as brave as you were, but I would have let her know somehow! You were not wrong!!

  32. I think you gave his fiancé a real picture of the man she was about to marry. Apparently she didn’t like what she saw. You probably helped her and any of the children they might have together.

  33. He must don’t realize that approximately 95% of a child’s genetics and gene pool comes from the father. If he’s that unhappy, he should get himself tested and ask his parents if possible, who in his family tree has downs syndrome. Getting married to someone else will not solve the problem. The mother of the child can do likewise. Trace her family tree and see does those genetics run in her family. If not their immediate family members then check further because sometimes genetics skips generations.

  34. You were RIGHT
    so he could start fresh . He was WRONG !!

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